Angry Video Game Nerd: Power Rangers
by M. Brothers Productions
Summary: The AVGN reviews Power Rangers on the Sega Genesis!


_WARNING: The following is just my opinion of the game, not the show!_

Somewhere in Pennslyvania...

A young man puts on a white shirt with overals and buttons it, as he then places pens on his pocket protector. The man walks into his kitchen and opens the fridge, pulling out a Rolling Rock and then walking downtown into the basement. As he looked into the room, the man rolled in eyes as he saw the room covered entirely of video games consoles from the Commodore 64 to the X-Box 360, and terribles games arranges by their respective companies. The man walked into the center of the room and announced "God, I hate all of these shitty games! There's nothing else here but shitty games!" He gave a sigh of relief and then told himself "At least it'll all be dust someday. So, what shitty game do I have to play today?" The man, known simply as the Angry Video Game Nerd, took a pen out from his pocket protector, and closed his eyes as he threw it in a random direction and just as instantly heard something dropped to the floor, noticing it as a Sega Genesis game called "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers!" The Nerd frowned at his luck and said "Oh great: A shitty game based on a shitty kid's show!" The Nerd walked towards the game and picked it up, as he said "Well, it could be worse!" As the Nerd walked towards his Sega Genesis, fully equipped with his Sega CD & 32X, a man popped out from the back of his futon with a guitar and started singing:

_He's gonna take you back to the past..._

_To play some shitty games that suck ass!_

_He'd rather have a buffalo,_

_take a diarrhea dump in his ear!_

_He'd rather eat...the rotting asshole..._

_of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer!_

_He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard!_

_He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd!_

_He's the Angry Atari, Sega Nerd!_

_He's the Angry Video Game Nerd!_

The young man, Kyle Justin, soon returned back behind the couch as the Nerd had finished placing the game into the Sega 32X, turned it on, and sat down on the futon, Rolling Rock on the ground next to him. "Okay, let's play some Power Rangers!" The Nerd soon begins his review, as he states "So, the whole point of this game is that you can play as 5 of the original Power Rangers! You have the Red, Blue, Yellow, Black, and Pink Ranger. You also have a giant minotaur who wears armor and carries a large spiked hammer of some sort, a giant black hairy monkey wearing golden and some weird-looking bitch with white and blue clothing. Seriously, am I playing Power Rangers or am I in a LSD-induced mind-fuck of a trip?"

The scene then changes to the Nerd playing the Red Ranger fighting Goldar on a bridge, as the Nerd says "So you have the choice of just playing an exibition round, or you can go into story mode, which isn't much but I'll get to that in a bit. In exibition, you've got alot of choices, but if you pick the giant robot the Power Rangers use, The Megazord, then you can only pick one of the other 3 monsters. Otherwise, if you pick one of the Rangers, you can't battle the Megazord. I guess I can see why that would make sense, since the Megazord is around Godzilla's size but it would be awesome to watch them get squished either way."

_Cut Scene:_

_The Red Ranger pulls out his Power Sword, but is suddenly squished by the Megazord!_

"Yea, now that would be awesome! Anyway, back to this shitty game. The controls suck! They just fuckin' suck! They're not _Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde _suck, but it's so complicated to do a combo, it gives my opponent a chance to counter-attack and drain my life." The Nerd starts to frown and begins to show frustration, as he continues his review by saying "Now let's get to the story mode! God, this is bad enough with the controls, but now we're getting into the nitty-gritty of this shit-sandwich. The story goes into text, which I'm pretty sure was not the intention of Sega! They made _Sonic the Hedgehog_, one of the greatest games ever sold on this console, and they suddenly degraded themselves to this shit-load-of fuck?"

"Anyway, the story goes into some evil bitch named Rita Repulsa who escaped from the moon and now she want's to take over the world." (_Cut-Gag...: Of Course!_) The Nerd seemed confused by that, as he told himself "When did the Nostalgia Critic suddenly take over my show?" The Nerd looks around, but finds no evidence of him around, as he shrugs his shoulders and continues his review. "Anyway, back to this game. So first you have to face the minotaur monster, and he's a pain in the ass. If you manage to beat him, you get a cut scene where Rita grows him with her magic wand."

_Scene from the show:_

_Rita Repulsa grabs her magic wand and shouts "Magic Wand, make my monster...GROW!" Rita throws the wand from her fortress on the moon all the way towards the Earth, as it hits a specific cliff and causes an earthquake, causing the Minotaur monster to grow to a giant!_

"Then, you get a cutscene where your robot shows up, and you get a giant vs robot battle. The controls are the same, and they still suck. Then, after that you get to face the Green Ranger. Why the Green Ranger? Because he was evil when he was first introduced in the show. How do I know? I looked it up online like a fucking nerd! Do I look like some comic-book geek who plays with Power Rangers toys?

Meanwhile, somewhere in Minnesota...

Another young man in a room full of comic books wearing a green shirt with a brown jacket, pants and hat was reading a Power Rangers comic when the Continuity Alarm suddenly went off! Linkara threw his comic to the ground and said "I'm not doing anything! Why does this keep happening?"

Back in the Nerd's room...

"So, first you battle the Green Ranger and then he summons his giant robot called the Dragonzord!" After looking at the Dragonzord, the Nerd asks "Wait, that's the Dragonzord?" The Nerd scratches his head as he gulps a bit of his Rolling Rock before addressing the issue by saying "That looks nothing like a dragon. It looks like a giant, fat, version of MechaGodzilla if it gained some pounds, lost most of it's weapons, had dopey-looking hands and a drill attached to it's tail. This isn't a robot, it's a giant version of _Bubble Bobble_!" The Nerd begins to get angry, as he soon says "And the worst part is that this game isn't almost over!" The Nerd gulps down some more Rolling Rock, as he sighs and continues playing as he says "After you beat the Dragonzord, there's a cut scene where the Red Ranger breaks Rita's control over the Green Ranger, making him a good guy. After that, you have to face the armored monkey, and then you have one last battle: Cyclonus! It's some metallic one-eyed robot with twin blades that come out of it's wrists. However, this fight is on the moon and the difficulity gets even worse from here. Luckily, you've unlocked the Green Ranger, so you can use him to fight Cyclonus with the Dragonzord. However, if you do, the game laughs and kicks you ass either way. It took me a long time, but I finally beat him and got some silly-looking end scene where the Rangers combine all their robots into the Ultrazord and destroy Rita's palace, and that's it."

The Nerd frowns his angry frown and turns the game off, pulling the game out of the 32X, as he shouts "This game is a piece of fucking shit! The graphics don't feel like their 16-bit and the controls are shit! It could have been an interesting game, but this makes me feel like I'm playing a beat-'em-up...a bad beat-'em-up that's getting worse with each second." The Nerd then looks at the game for a second before throwing it against the wall and hearing it break. The Nerd shakes his head in anger before saying "By the way, there are other Power Rangers games other than this one. Ther'e Super Legends, there's one called Lighspeed Resuce, and I'm willing to bet they all suck. So, that's all for me!" The Nerd shakes his head and soon leaves, taking his Rolling Rock with him.

Meanwhile, back in Minnesota...

Linkara continuously attempted to fic the Continuity Alarm as a small blue robot named Poyo suddenly floated into the room and said "Linkara, what are you doing?" Linkara shook his head and turned to Poyo, replying "I'm trying to fix the Continuity Alarm again! I mean, seriously, why does this keep happening?" Poyo made a robotic-sounding sigh and asked "Why don't you take a break? That things never works properly." Linkara sighs and drops his tools as we walks to ne next room and goes to the computer.

45 minutes later...

Linkara growled in frustration, having just watched the recent video of the Angry Video Game Nerd. He soon turns to his right, and looked at the Power Rangers game attached to his Sega Genesis, as he tells himself "I am not going to let him get away with this!" In rage, Linkara gets up and walks to a shelf full of DVD's, as he pulls out a bootleg DVD with the writing "_Power Rangers/Ninja Turtles Crossover_". Linkara chuckles and then says "Now it's my turn!"

_To Be Continued..._

_If you want to see Part 2, leave your comments!_


End file.
